A Good Tourtière - Ms C

Tuesday, April 08, 2003
Bad Movie Sequel Ideas - an ongoing list of things I'm coming up with for no reason. For all I know, some of these might actually be in the works.

  • Home Alone 4: another kid who does the same pranks as the first three movies

  • Independence Day 2: The World- Sorry, I Mean U.S. - Wins Again

  • Little Mermaid 3: Attack of the Whalers

  • Deep Impact 2: An alien ship is in a collision course with the Earth... can the alien ship survive?

  • Terminator 4: Now It's All Fem-Bots.

  • The Sixth Sense 2: Some Dead Kid Sees Living People

  • Lion King 3: Another Cub Wants to be King

  • Forrest Gump 3: he actually goes forward in time

  • Batman 15: Haley Joel Osment is old enough to don the suit now.

  • Ghostbusters 3: Staypuff Marshmallow Man vs Slimer - BOOYAH!!!

  • Twins 2: [insert lame joke about Olsen twins here]

  • Thelma & Louise 2: Rise from the Grave to Haunt More Guys

  • ET 2: Another Movie to Ruin Another Childhood Classic

  • Titanic 2: The Zombie Ship

  • Pearl Harbour 2: War in Iraq... wait a second...

  • Grease 3: HOLY CRAP IT'S HERE!

  • Phenomenon 2: Rise from the Grave With A Bigger Ego

  • Moulin Rouge 2: More Remixes of Medlies and Songs Put Together Just to Win Awards from People Who Pronounce "Moulin Rouge" as "Moo-lan Roodge"

  • Speed 3: My Brake Pads Need Replacement

  • The Full Monty 2: Even More Exposure, This Time From Middle-Aged Women

  • Groundhog's Day 2: Same Nightmare, Now on St-Patrick's Day.

  • Snow White 2: .... AAAARGH!!! Okay, I'm tired of seeing Disney pump out sequels to movies which are good enough by themselves just to make more money. Seroiusly, can't anyone come up with an original idea that WASN'T stolen from someone else's original ideas?

  • Winnie the Pooh's New Adventure: Where's Eeyore, and What's Tigger Eating?

  • Sister Act 3: I Have Nothing Else to Do; Let's Sneak Into the Vatican Dressed Like a Cardinal

  • The Brady Bunch 3: We REALLY Liked the 60s.

  • Indiana Jones 8: Indiana Jones Junior the 4th searches for his car keys in DA HOOD! (lame reference to Leprechaun)

  • Being John Malkovich Again: A small ferret invades his mind, with hilarious results!

  • Good Will Hunting 2: Some other guy named Will Hunting in some parallel universe is good in Physics but is stuck in a job as a gardener. Completely different plot. Really.

Yeah, that's it. I invite you to make some too. It's fun to do while you're trying to come up with lesson plans. I don't claim to have the best jokes but at least I'm trying.